Jessica Alba gets water-banged

Jessica Alba must be one of the hottest girls out there, but she must also be one of the most boring when it comes down to having sex. Granted, she’s doing it in the ocean, something that most of us haven’t done since we were in 12th grade, but for goodness sake, look at her face! She looks like she is having a social conversation instead of being banged!

Reese Witherspoon dumps husband

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe are now officially separated. According to their rep:

"We are saddened to announce that Reese and Ryan have decided to formally separate. They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time."

Sources say that Reese was the one to break up the marriage, although it was not caused by a specific incident (sorry fellas, no cheating here), but was rather cumulative. In other words: she just couldn’t put up with his ass anymore!

Nicole Richie faints

There must be something seriously wrong with Nicole Richie, as she is not only Ethiopian-like thin, but now is passing out too.

The petite actress reportedly fainted on Sunday morning after she had been hanging out with Lindsay Lohan at Hyde. A hotel employee approached Nicole and her friends suggesting to call 911 but was told not to, since they were planning on taking her to the hospital. They then left through the back door, but it is unknown if she was actually taken to the hospital or not.

Anna Nicole Smith’s son may be un-buried

Anna Nicole Smith’s tribulations seem to be endless. Now she is not only being sued by her ex-boyfriend Birkhead a second time, but her newly acquired Bahamian citizenship is being challenged since she doesn’t actually own the house she lives in, in that country (which is an unavoidable requirement). The worst part is that, having recently buried her son in the Caribbean nation, she may have to exhume his body and carry him back to the United States if she is forced to return here.

I have the solution to her troubles, at least the financial ones: write a book about all her soap-opera-style problems! Even though I’m sure she can’t write to save her life, I would buy it… nothing like getting the inner details from the source itself, don’t you think?

Jacko to marry the nanny

Michael Jackson is planning to marry his children’s nanny.

Jackson recently settled the custody battle with his ex-wife, and mother of his two eldest children, Debbie Rowe, and is now free to get on with his wedding plans. He is currently living in Ireland with 39 year old nanny Grace Rwaramba who his children reportedly call “mom.” Debbie Rowe is the mother of two eldest children, nine year old Prince Michael and eight year old Paris, and agreed to let him raise them when their marriage ended.

This year she claimed Jackson was an unfit parent and filed for custody of the kids. Recently, however, Rowe, 48, agreed to let him keep Paris and Prince Michael in return for $760,000 a year. Jackson also has a third child, four year old Prince Michael II, who he calls Blanket.

K-Fed feels underrated

Kevin Federline feels underrated as a rap star.

Kevin who is married to Britney Spears has said that while everyone is always talking about him, they don’t give his music the attention it deserves. “I’m the most talked about of anyone over the last couple of years.”

The former dancer also revealed he has overcome the embarrassment of buying female hygiene products for his wife. He said “I used to be embarrassed to go to the store and buy tampons, but that’s all past tense. Once you make it through that, then you’re good.” Kevin’s debut album “Playing With Fire” was recently branded a “joke” by the hip-hop community.

Madonna agrees regular visits

Madonna has agreed to take her adopted son back to Malawi for regular visits.

Madonna who has been granted temporary foster care of 13 month old David Banda with a view to adopt him has promised to take him back to his homeland every four years. David’s father Yohande Banda told UK news channel “We made an agreement in court for David to lead a better life, I was happy with that. Every three or four years they will bring him to visit. I’m delighted he’s been welcomed into that family.”

Baby’s David’s father also urged Madonna not to be put off by the controversy surrounding the adoption or the red tape involved in legalizing her guardianship. A Malawian court is expected to rule on appeals by 67 human rights groups who claim the adoption was illegal. Desmond Kaunda, director of the Malawi Human Rights Resource Centre, said: “We are not against the adoption because it is a right, but our main concern is what extent was Madonna a resident in Malawi to actually qualify for that kind of an order.”

Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry take a stroll

Jennifer Aniston and her former ‘Friends’ co-star Matthew Perry have been caught taking a romantic stroll.

Aniston who is dating actor Vince Vaughn has been close friends with Matthew ever since they starred in the hit TV show. However, their friendship is said to be turning into more, as she is going through a rough patch in her relationship with Vince. Matt’s always fancied Jen, but he never really showed it.

The pair were recently spotted enjoying a romantic walk on the beach with their arms gently wrapped around each other walking near her Malibu home. They looked pretty cosy together and he was beaming ear to ear.

Cameron Diaz and national enquirer make up

National Enquirer reported Cameron Diaz was stepping out on Justin Timberlake.

According to court documents filed Friday, the Enquirer and Diaz are close to reaching a settlement in the $30 million defamation lawsuit that she filed against the tabloid last year over a cover story accusing her of cheating on Timberlake with a producer of her MTV show. Counsel reported that settlement discussions have been productive and that both parties are close to a settlement.

Diaz slapped the magazine with charges of slander and libel after it was reported that she and the producer, Shane Nickerson, who’s married, were seen smooching outside of a Los Angeles sound studio. The offending article, which ran behind the headline “Cameron Caught Cheating,” was published in the Enquirer’s May 23, 2005, issue. The Enquirer responded with confidence at the time of the filing, saying through a spokesman that the tabloid stood behind its reporting “and will defend the suit aggressively in court.”

Ex sues Anna Nicole a second time

Anna Nicole Smith is being sued.

Anna Nicole Smith is being sued for a second time by photographer Larry Birkhead, who is now accusing her of fraud and conspiracy. Birkhead filed a paternity suit on Oct. 2, his lawyer, Debra Opri, shared copies of legal papers filed on Birkhead’s behalf earlier that day in a Bahamas court.

The papers allege that Smith and her lawyer and fiance, Howard K. Stern, conspired to misrepresent Stern as the father of Smith’s six week old daughter, Dannielynn Hope, and committed libel and slander by denying Birkhead is the father.

Birkhead is already seeking a court order to demand that Smith bring Dannielynn to California for a DNA test that would determine her paternity. The next hearing in that case will be on Monday.