Brad Pitt Snubs Oscar

Did anyone else find it a little odd that Brad Pitt skipped the Academy Awards this year? I ask not just because I missed seeing the super hot Brad all dolled up, but because it seems odd that he would snub the ceremony. His film Babel had a bunch of nominations, including one for co-star Cate Blanchett, and Brad was a producer on The Departed which won for Best Picture.

Brad’s rep claims that Brad was too busy working to attend. Sure, that must be it. Or could it be that Brad, who is supposedly above everything Hollywood now that he has Angelina and the kids, is feeling a bit neglected by Oscar? After all, George Clooney and Matt Damon both have the little blad guys sitting on their shelves. That must make bar-b-ques a little awkward. I predict we’ll be seeing Brad play a quadrapeligic teacher who teaches a mute boy to sing in his next movie…that should get him a nomination.

Oh, and how cute are these kids? If this family gets any prettier I may throw up.

Eddie Murphy Wasn’t Sulking

Tongues are wagging about Eddie Murphy ditching the Academy Awards just after losing out on the Best Supporting Actor Award to Alan Arkin. But Eddie insists that he wasn’t being a sore loser (just a regular loser, I guess).

Eddie’s rep says:

“Eddie had always planned on leaving after his category was announced to spend the rest of the evening with his family,” says rep Arnold Robinson, adding, “He did the same thing following the Golden Globe Awards.” (Murphy did win at the Globes.)

I’m not surprised that Eddie snuck out early. He had to go find the guy who decided to release Norbit while Academy members were still voting and beat him senseless. I’m sure while Jennifer Hudson was giving her moving acceptance speech, Eddie was in a production office somewhere trying to suffocate the Norbit publicity guy with a fat suit and yelling “you couldn’t have waited until after they voted for me??”

Maybe Eddie can sculpt a little Oscar look-a-like out of gold plated dollar bills after his big, fat (yes, pun intended) Norbit payday.

Tom Cruise is the Boss of Katie Holmes

Katie Holmes is doing her best to follow in Nicole Kidman’s Jimmy Choo footsteps. The new Mrs. Tom Cruise was spotted at the Academy Awards doing a freakishly good Stepford Wives imitation. Of course she doesn’t seem to realize that The Stepford Wives was a movie and that Nicole was just pretending to be a brainwashed, puppy wife.

From US Magazine:

Cruise, 44, greeted a few photographers but didn’t introduce his wife, who said nothing and stood next to her husband, waiting for him to finish his conversations. He later asked her again to pose for a picture alone, and she finally agreed.

“She looks at him for direction,” the witness tells Us.

Well, I’m glad there’s nothing dysfunctional about this marriage. I’d love to get a peek at the pre-nup. I want to know exactly how much longer Katie has to give up her dignity, her mind and her self-esteem before she can split with the cash and the career boost.

Daniel Baldwin Gives Britney Spears His Phone Number

Britney Spears has a rehab buddy. The broken down pop tart was recently visited by former cocaine addict Daniel Baldwin who offered his support during her recovery.

From Hollywood.com

Britney Spears has found an unlikely ally as she battles her demons in rehab–recovering cocaine addict Daniel Baldwin. Movie star Baldwin met up with the pop star at the Promises rehab clinic in Malibu, California, over the weekend and urged her to contact him if she needed to talk about her troubles.

A source says, “He gave her his phone number.”

Baldwin has since told TV news show Extra that his new pal seemed “a little fearful about her situation.”

Now that is impressive. Not so much that Baldwin is willing to help a fellow addict on the road to recovery, but that the guy actually went into a rehab center to give a chick his phone number. That’s a special kind of desperate. Either that or he’s a pick-up genius. Hey, he might get laughed at in a bar, but he probably looks pretty good to a girl in detox who’s willing to sell her clothes for a swig of cough syrup.

Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore Light Up In Hawaii

So before hitting the Academy Awards, Cameron Diaz hit the beach in Hawaii with Drew Barrymore. And while the bikini-clad stars relaxed in the sun, they were sharing…a smoke. And it doesn’t look like a Camel to me.

What is going on with Hollywood suddenly taking pot public? Is there an organized “legalize weed” protest that I don’t know about? And where’s Woody Harrelson while everyone is lighting up? He should be in his hemp pants, passing out informational leaflets printed on paper you can smoke when you’re done reading.

Pink Gets Manly

So singer Pink is running around in a bikini and oh my butch, check her out. I’m a little worried that she’s been sampling the testosterone pills at the local GNC. Girlfriend is getting scary…scarier.

I think the top is the only way we can identify her as a chick anymore. Between the tats, the oddly masculine looking muscles, her way square jaw and that whole “I can kick your ass” strut, she might make a fairly hot guy. The only thing working against her is that fact that she’s, you know, a girl.

James Blunt and Petra Nemcova Flatten a Fan

It’s ok to be a fan of British singer James Blunt and super sexy Petra Nemcova, just do it from a distance. One autograph seeker is nursing a squashed foot after James and Petra reportedly ran over his foot as they were leaving a pre-Oscar party.

From E! Online:

The sensitive Brit singer was involved in a car accident in Los Angeles early Saturday while leaving a pre-Academy Award bash in which his car ran over the foot of a male bystander.

Whatever the 32-year-old ex-soldier’s role, neither he nor his girlfriend passenger, model Petra Nemcova, reportedly suffered any injuries.

The same can’t necessarily be said for the man whose foot was on the receiving end of the vehicle. While the man has not been formally identified, several reports peg him as an autograph-hunter.

And of course the kicker in the story is that James and Petra didn’t stop to see if the guy was ok. To which he would have responded “no, I’m not ok, you just ran over my f**king foot! And hey, can I have your autograph?” Now who do you think this the guy called first, an ambulance or a lawyer?

Naomi Campbell Takes Her Crazy To TV

So it’s against the law to actually feed people to lions anymore, but apparently it just dandy to feed them to Naomi Campbell. MTV is giving the assault prone super-diva her very own reality show. We can only hope that everyone on set is issued a helmet and a restraining order.

From Female First:

Supermodel Naomi Campbell is to star in an MTV reality show which shows her searching for a new PA. The supermodel is determined to rid of herself of her temperamental persona with personal assistants.

A source said: “Naomi is famous for her spats with staff, so the idea is to try to have some fun and capitalize on the situation. Plus, it’s TV work, which Naomi hopes will lead to acting jobs.”

Naomi’s last six assistants have quit because of her violent temper. The catwalk beauty has been accused of assault by two previous assistants – and physical and emotional attacks by another.

Given the choice between auditioning for this show or a show called “Running with Scissors while Balancing Hot Coffee on Your Head and Being Chased by Rabid Rhinos,” I’d pick the scissors, coffee and rhinos…there’s less chance of bodily injury.

Oscar Fashion Recap…The Bad

Now for the fun part, who should have skipped the red carpet. I don’t mind being bitchy about this because these women have buckets of cash and professional people to style, primp and pamper them before the show. It’s not my fault if they hired a fashion school drop-out or if they forgot to look in a mirror before popping open the champagne in their limo.

So here are my picks for the big fashion losers:

Jennifer Hudson may have won the Oscar, but that is no excuse for the Judy Jetson gold python jacket she was sporting on the red carpet. At least she had the sense to take it off later so she won’t have to look back on her big moment in that bolero…yuck!

Anne Hathaway in Valentino. What is with the ink spot on the front? Not only was it unflattering to her figure, it looked like a giant butterfly crashed into the front of her gown.

Jessica Biel wore an pink Oscar de la Renta halter that looked hot, but she gets marked down for her hair, too bumpy, and for her obiovus lack of a bra. It would look hot on her if it hadn’t been so cold in LA last night.

Gwyneth Paltrow. I may be the lone nay-sayer on this one, but I didn’t like the meshy, peach Spiderman dress. The criss-crossing lines were distracting and made me a little dizzy. Plus her lipstick is way too red for the gown. She needs to go kiss a few guys to tone down the bright red color.

Cameron Diaz showed up sporting an angular white off the shoulder something that looked like it came right out of a paper factory. It was one of my least favorite looks of the night. Right up there with a bald Jack Nicholson sitting the front row. Check the tape…he’s as bald as Britney.

So, that’s my take on Oscar fashion. Of course I spent the night in yoga pants and a tank top eating ice cream while watching E!. So what do I know?

Oscar Fashion Recap…The Good

So the votes have been counted, the little gold bald guys have gone home with the winners and the last of the drunk celebrities have been swept off the floor. Now comes the stuff we really care about…who looked good on the red carpet and who looked like they need to fire their stylist.

This year the fashions at the Academy Awards were all about being bold and taking risks. Some of it worked and some of it flopped. Here is my totally uninformed, uneducated, based soley on what made me go “wow” or “yech” Oscar fashion recap.

Fashion winners:

Helen Mirren not only won Best Actress, but she has to be up for Best Dressed as well. She looked gorgeous in a Christian Lacroix gown. Cate Blanchett was oh so sexy in a Swarovski crystal studded Armani dress that clung to her body like Brad Pitt when she got shot in Babel.

Penelope Cruz is sitting on my fashion fence. I loved the top of her Versace gown, but the bottom is questionable. Somehow it mostly works for her, but I’m advising her to avoid feathers in the future.

Nicole Kidman was stunning, as always, in a bright red Balenciaga halter gown with a big ol’ bow one one shoulder. I wasn’t sold on the bow, but then I saw her face and remembered why she can do no wrong. Gorgeous! Hopefully Tom Cruise was kicking himself just a little bit when she hit the stage.

Kate Winslet was channeling her inner Greek godess in a one shoulder Valentino. She may not have had a snowball’s chance in hell at winning this year, but girlfriend looked fabulous. The hair, make-up, jewlery…just perfect.

So those are my picks for style winners. These were the women who made me say, “wow, she’s so beautiful. Bitch.” Now go visit my post on the fashion losers. You know that’s what you really want to read.