Ralph Fiennes Joins the Mile High Club

Ralph Fiennes will have more to grumble about than people mispronouncing his name (it’s pronounced Rafe for all of us silly Americans who try to call him Ralph). It seems the star of the monumentally depressing movie The English Patient has joined the mile high club with a press hungry flight attendant.

Qantas flight attendant Lisa Robertson is telling the world of her romantic encounter with Ralph in a cramped airplane lavatory.

From The Daily Mail:

After chatting together, there was, she [Robertson] has admitted, a lot of ‘body language’ between them and even the odd kiss or two.

She gave him her phone number. Finally she decided to take matters into her own hands.

“I just stood up, reached down for his hand and told him to follow me,” she told friends.

“We went into the toilet and locked the door and off came much of our clothes.”

She said they then had passionate and apparently unprotected sex.
Other crew members, more than a little suspicious, waited outside the door and later reported her to airline bosses.

Miss Robertson, 38, told friends she was so overwhelmed with the moment that she did not care who was listening, what they saw or what they assumed had been going on.

This version is pretty much the opposite of the story Robertson gave her Qantas bosses when she told them she repelled Ralph’s unwanted sexual advances in the bathroom. And big shock, the newspaper goes on to add that Robertson hasn’t heard from Ralph since their night of passion. Hey, she should be glad he didn’t leave her in a dark cave somewhere to die alone waiting for him to come back. I hate that movie.

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