Jennifer Lopez Banned From Latin Music Stores

Jennifer Lopez isn’t feeling the love from one Latin music mogul. Ritmo Latino, a Spanish music store chain has banned all J-Lo’s CD’s after she reportedly refused to do personal appearances at the stores to promote her first Spanish language album.

Ritmo’s El Presidente David Massey said this about the diss:

“We’ve supported her from the beginning. Now we’re told by her record company she will only visit Anglo retail outlets…This is a Spanish-language CD, and if she wants to discriminate against the Latin community, then we will not sell her product. This is not the first time this has happened. Celebrities have this notion that when they reach a certain level of crossover appeal, they forget quickly where they started. We will no longer tolerate these situations.”

So Jenny from the block wants to stay in her high rise condo and wave to her adoring fans from afar. Maybe its all for the best. If she had gone back to the block for a personal appearance she might have forgotten the people were there to buy her CD and started asking them to wash her feet or clean her fur coat. And that’s just bad manners.

David Beckham’s Eye for Beauty Annoys His Wife

So the rumor is that David Beckham is quite the player off the soccer field as well. I didn’t know it, but Becks apparently has quite the roving eye. Wifey Posh clearly didn’t appreciate Becks checking out former model Kelly Killoren Bensimon at a recent dinner outing.

From Page Six:

Beckham was straining his neck to check Kelly out the entire time. Everyone at her table was commenting on it,” a witness said. “Finally, Posh got up and left, and she barely ate anything.” A rep for Beckham told us, “If David was checking anyone out, it was his wife.”

I just can’t find it in my heart to smack Becks on the wrist and tell him to keep his lust in his pants. Seriously, have you seen Posh recently? No wonder Becks is looking everyone but her. He’s probably tried of having sex with a woman built like skinny 10 year old boy wearing iron breasts.

Britney Spears and K-Fed Reach a Settlement

Looks like Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have reached a divorce settlement. The slightly nutty Britney and newly reformed K-Fed are very close to being swinging singles again.

From TMZ:

Sources say that under the terms, K-Fed will walk away with around $1 million. As for their two kids, we’re told Britney and Kevin will have joint custody, sharing physical custody 50/50. The divorce will be final, with a judge’s signature, very soon.

In the past, when Laura Wasser, Britney’s lawyer, has settled a high-profile divorce, the parties file a “skeletal judgment,” which mean the specific terms will be omitted from the public documents.

Wow, the girl flips out, shaves her head, goes into rehab three times and K-Fed still can’t get out of the pre-nup? Brit’s lawyer should get a big, fat bonus. And shouldn’t the divorce papers really read that its really K-Fed’s nanny and Brit’s nanny will be sharing custody of the kids?

Howard K. Stern Doesn’t Want to Know Who Killed Daniel Smith

If Howard K. Stern isn’t guilty of killing someone, he’s doing his best to make it look like he did. The world’s worst lawyer has managed to halt the inquest into Daniel Smith’s death. Howie, if you didn’t do it, why are you stopping it?

From TMZ:

Howard K. Stern has temporarily derailed the inquest into Daniel Smith’s death. The judge in the case has put the inquest on ice for at least two weeks.

Stern’s lawyer argued the law allowing the inquest was flawed, because it was impossible to impanel a fair and impartial jury given the massive publicity surrounding the deaths of Anna Nicole and her son.

Is Howard really so desperate for his 15 minutes of fame that he’s willing to make himself look like a murderer? Because the only reason to stop an inquest is if you did it and you don’t want people to find out. So add this to Howard’s attempt to stop the paternity test on Dannielynn and you have the makings for a super-villian.

Michelle Branch Stalks Her Stalker

Folksy girl Michelle Branch recently stopped one of her own concerts to nab a stalker. The singer was reportedly on stage when she spotted her stalker in the audience.

From People:
“Michelle Branch just said, ‘Wait a second. There’s a guy in the audience – striped shirt and glasses – can somebody check him out?’ ” audience member Cali Haas, 20, of Sheboygan, tells the Associated Press. “It left everyone just so confused, like, ‘Is this a joke, part of the show?’ ” Haas added.

But it was not part of the concert. Dominick Giordano, 32, of Maryland, was cited for disorderly conduct after staff members at the Stefanie H. Weill Center for the Performing Arts stopped him as he tried to escape on Monday, according to police.

See, she’s a classy girl. If it had been me I would have been like “hey, see that guy right there…jump on him!” And when my adoring fans were pounding the crap out of him I would have been singing Puff the Magic Dragon..,cause I’m just that messed up.

Lindsay Lohan is Perky

Lindsay Lohan doesn’t need support…at least not for her boobs. The party girl extraordinaire was recently spotted by paparazzi bouncing around town. No really bouncing, the girl was once again boycotting the bra. And there must have been a flag nearby cause the Lindsay’s nipples were standing up and saluting.

And apparently Linds still hasn’t had a class on how to properly enter a car since she managed to do her trademarked spread eagle flash for the photogs. I don’t know if she’s wearing panties or not…I couldn’t bring myself to look that closely. If you can figure it out, send me a note.

Rose McGowan Wants to Stand Out

Rose McGowan, star of the new stripper-with-a-machine-gun-for-a-leg flick Grindhouse, is not making friends with her co-stars. The Snow White (if Snow White was a freak) looking star apparently gave the Grindhouse girls a bit of a fashion smackdown. Rose reportedly told the other girls that no one else could wear red to the premiere.

From The New York Post:

“It caused quite a stir. The feeling is she’s self-obsessed.” Among the beauties ordered to do without red were Rosario Dawson, Jordan Ladd and Sydney Tamiia Poitier. But McGowan was in for a rude surprise when two minor cast members, twins Elise and Electra Avellan, paraded into the theater in bright red outfits. “It was basically a ‘[Bleep] you!’ to Rose,” said the source.

I don’t know if you can really claim diva status for a movie where you swing on a pole using a machine gun as an artificial leg. Oh wait, maybe that’s the long lost Shakespeare play that I missed in English class. My mistake, Rose is definately doing high art here. Diva away, girlfriend.

Halle Berry Talks About Suicide

Beautiful Halle Berry has been bordering on over-sharing recently. And I don’t just mean her overfloweth cleavage. The Oscar winner has opened up about a time when she tried to kill herself.

From People:

“I was sitting in my car, and I knew the gas was coming when I had an image of my mother finding me. She sacrificed so much for her children, and to end my life would be an incredibly selfish thing to do. It was all about a relationship. My sense of worth was so low. I promised myself I would never be a coward again.”

Let me check my sympathy meter…nope still on empty. Yeah, yeah, I’m a cold heartess bitch, I know. Bite me, I have to work for a living. Halle’s suicide confession just makes things awkward. I prefer to imagine my celebrities sitting in their Malibu mansions, sipping on margaritas and practicing their acceptance speeches. Oh wait, that is what they do!

Howard K. Stern Tries to Delay DNA Test

Howard K. Stern, Anna Nicole Smith’s companion/lawyer/possible (but highly unlikely) baby daddy is trying to postpone the big reveal. Howie just filed an appeal to delay the DNA test on baby Dannielynn.

From TMZ:

Howard K. Stern has filed an appeal in his ongoing paternity battle over Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter, Dannielynn, this according to “Entertainment Tonight.”

TMZ is told that the appeal will absolutely delay the reveal of DNA results, but for how long is unknown. The next hearing is April 3.

Last week, Stern followed court orders and drove Dannielynn to a lab for a DNA swab. Larry Birkhead also gave a sample.

So the spit has already been collected, the test is either done or will be done soon and Howie just doesn’t want anyone to know the results. Dude, get over it. Stall all you want, the results won’t change. You’re either the daddy or you ain’t. And we all know you ain’t, so suck it up and pack the baby’s bags.

Christina Aguilera Goes Frumpy

Christina Aguilera is as hot as hot gets, but what happned here? Is this the price you have to pay for looking that good? Check out Xtina leaving the Mercer Hotel in New York rocking the hairnet, old lady sweater coat and the world’s biggest scarf. She’s even got the granny dogs going on.

Now you all know that I have no problem ragging on Christina when she hits the red carpet in see-through dresses or skirts that barely cover her hoo-hah. But this crazy cat lady fashion is just sad. She looks like the cranky neighbor down the road who bangs on her window and yells at you if you walk too close to her lawn.