Nicole Richie Only Lets the Skinny Chicks Party

Forgive me for stating the obvious, but Nicole Richie is freaky skinny. I don’t really like seeing thongs hanging out of jeans, I certainly don’t want to see ribs and collarbones poking through skin. Yuck.

Anyway, go figure, but I was left off the guest list for Nicole’s Memorial Day party. Want to know why…because I eat.

Here’s the invite:

From: Nicole Richie
Subject: Masha and Nicole’s Memorial Day Party

My fellow Americans its that time of year
To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer
Let’s stand together as one, live the American dream
Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems
Let’s glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans
Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!
There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!

Of course Nicole was joking. But not really. There’s not actually a scale at the door. Except for the huge digital scale at the front door with an automated voice that announces your weigh to everyone in the room. Unless you’re Nicole Richie and then the voice just says “Damn girl, eat something!”

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