Cindy Crawford Goes Topless

Hey, I remember Cindy Crawford. Lots of curves, cute mole, made a really bad movie with one of the Baldwin brothers. Well, here she is again and still looking good. Photogs got a few lucky shots of Cindy sunbathing topless. Well, to be fair it looks like she was trying to keep covered, but one of those pesky boobs just slipped out for a peek.

And it’s a good thing too…not just because it gives me something to post on an otherwise slow gossip day, but because that is one white girlie melon. That boob is so white Casper the Friendly Ghost is getting turned on.

The pics below are NSFW.

Nicole Richie Spills the Baby Beans

I love saying I told you so. Turns out I wasn’t just making sh** up when I reported that Nicole Richie is preggers. The world’s tiniest uterus is indeed currently occupied.

Nicole and presumed baby daddy Joel Madden recently sat down with Diane Swayer for an interview and confirmed that she is indeed going to be a mommy. Yawn…old news, sweetheart.

From TMZ:

ABC says in the interview, which airs on “Good Morning America” Thursday and Friday and on “20/20″ Friday night, Richie “speaks candidly about why this particular constellation of young female stars — Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears, among others — have behaved badly so publicly.”

Talk about expert testimony!

Rosie Puts Paula in a Poem

I’ve always known Rosie O’Donnell was kind of crazy, but whenever I read her pseudo-poem blogs, I start to worry that she’s going to wind up in a clock tower armed with a megaphone and volumes of bad haiku.

Anyway, Rosie has apparently picked out her next public celebrity fued buddy because yesterday she posted a new “poem” and smacked Paula Abdul around a bit. At least I think it was an insult.

From Rosie’s blog:

right now
paula abdul would yell action
and the result would be
what we all see

there r times
u r so broken
fragile
pain filled
love less
desperate
raw
vulnerable
needy

hey paula
we cringe
at r selves
thru u

Crazy fight! How fun! It’s like two mental patients going to blows over which one of them is really Eleanor Roosevelt and which one is a total poser.

Pete Doherty Wants Kate Back

(photo courtesy of WENN)

Rocker and pharmaceutical wonder Pete Doherty was recently dumped by his now ex-girlfriend Kate Moss (for like the 20th time). But instead of moving on from the disaster prone relationship, Pete is using the media to try to win the skinny supermodel back to his needle tracked side.

From The Mirror:

[Pete] passionately declares: “I love her with all my heart. I like the way she walks and talks. I love her bones. I love her brain.”

Personally, I couldn’t care less about this relationship, but I just love the fact that some guy has the total lack of verbal inhibitors to actually say “I love her bones” about a ridiculously thin model. Cause let’s face it, there ain’t much else to this chick. That just makes me and my completely un-model like size 4 ass smile.

Jessica Alba Wants to Get Hitched

So remember that story about Jessica Alba dumping boyfriend Cash Warren over the phone and then having her assistant pack him up and kick him to the curb? Well, it turns out that Jessica may have given Cash the heave-ho because the dude wasn’t ready to pop the question. And I don’t mean the “will you wear the Fantastic Four costume again tonight?” I mean the big question…the one that involves rings, a church and a big white dress.

From The Insider:

“He wasn’t ready for marriage, and Jessica is. It’s simple as that. It’s kind of cold that the press is saying she was just finished with him, because it isn’t like that. Seeing Eva get married made Jessica wistful. That was the reason Jessica seemed to be in a terrible mood in Paris.”

Come on, dude. Cash Alba has a nice ring to it.

Britney Spears is Officially Available Again

Biug day for Britney Spears. The nutty pop tart is officially single again. Her divorce from Kevin Fedelrine was singed, stamped and made official today. The child custody agreement and Fed-Ex’s oh so manly taking money from my baby-mama agreement were kept sealed.

Also today, we got another sneak peek at Brit’s new music video for her single Get Back. And apparently the song is about a Hell’s Angel biker bitch who does a little pole dancing. At least that’s what I’m getting from the pics. Or maybe it’s about a washed up pop singer who desperately wants attention and will keep taking her clothes off until people notice her.

Paris Hilton is Still in the Will

So you may have heard that Paris Hilton was about to lose the only thing that made anyone care about her in the first place…her famiy funds. Metro ran a story saying that Paris Hilton’s grandfather, Conrad “Barron” Hilton has had enough of Paris’ very public bad behavior and he was ready to cut her out of his will.

But, alas, I’m sorry to say that TMZ has investigated the too good to be true karmic justice and they’re reporting that Paris is still in Papa’s good graces and, until Grampa Hilton comes to his senses, will inherit somewhere around $30 million.

Any chance that having her financial future secure will keep Paris from doing anymore acting…or singing…or speaking in general?

Photos courtesy of Flynet

The Simple Life is No More

It’s a good thing Paris Hilton still has her Grampa’s money to fall back on, because at least one of her pseudo-careers is over. E! is reporting that the Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton fake reality show The Simple Life won’t be coming back for another season. Someone shout Hallelujah!

From E!:

“The Simple Life has been a wonderful addition to the E! Schedule for two years and we will always be grateful to Paris and Nicole for their hard work and graciousness.”

Wait, someone double check this for me. I thought we were talking about The Simple Life, but “hard work and graciousness” just doesn’t sounds like Paris and Nicole. Maybe there was some Amish show on E! that I missed.

Britney Spears Has Another Meltdown

Britney Spears is reportedly still on he fast track to a straight jacket. The stale pop tart reportedly has another public breakdown. Just last week Brit allegedly went loco on the set of her photo shoot with OK! Magazine. Now we’re getting word that Britney lost it while filming the mucis video for her new single Get Back.

From TMZ:

Sources told the Daily News that she seemed “disoriented” and “erratic” during the shoot for her new single “Get Back.”

The tawdry trainwreck seemed “wobbly,” said one source, and had to keep stopping for frequent bathroom breaks. “You could see she was getting a bit wobbly, but no one expected her to throw a complete fit. Suddenly, she was in floods of tears and stormed off set. She eventually came back but was sobbing hysterically.”

The shoot, and Spears, had to be called off early.

Seriously, don’t they make little pink or purple pills for this kind of crazy?

Lindsay Lohan’s Movie Gets Panned

Lindsay Lohan’s new movie has gotten plenty of press over the past few months. Between the leaked video and pics of Lindsay stripping and the tons of ink Lindsay gets thanks to her own general stupidity, the flick I Know Who Killed Me has been all over the blogosphere. But apparently free publicity doesn’t help much if the movie sucks. And according to reviewers, this movie sucks like a 10 year old with a Slurpee.

RottenTomatoes.com has compilied some of the reviews (Lindsay, honey, you might want to skip to the next post):

“No review could really do justice to the monumental trashiness of this mess; it really has to be seen to be believed,” Elizabeth Weitzman of the Daily News.

“I Know…” is “[A] sleazy, inept and worthless piece of torture porn.” Lou Lumenick of the New York Post

“Who could’ve predicted a bust for alleged cocaine possession, vocational self-destruction, and a general display of young Hollywood stupidity would be the career highlight of Lohan’s weekend,” wrote EFilmCritic.com writer Brian Orndorf.

Damn! If Lindsay wasn’t already off the wagon and swimming in booze, this probably would have made her put on a lime flavored bikini and jump right into a wading pool filled with Tequila.