Britney Spears is Officially Available Again

Biug day for Britney Spears. The nutty pop tart is officially single again. Her divorce from Kevin Fedelrine was singed, stamped and made official today. The child custody agreement and Fed-Ex’s oh so manly taking money from my baby-mama agreement were kept sealed.

Also today, we got another sneak peek at Brit’s new music video for her single Get Back. And apparently the song is about a Hell’s Angel biker bitch who does a little pole dancing. At least that’s what I’m getting from the pics. Or maybe it’s about a washed up pop singer who desperately wants attention and will keep taking her clothes off until people notice her.

Paris Hilton is Still in the Will

So you may have heard that Paris Hilton was about to lose the only thing that made anyone care about her in the first place…her famiy funds. Metro ran a story saying that Paris Hilton’s grandfather, Conrad “Barron” Hilton has had enough of Paris’ very public bad behavior and he was ready to cut her out of his will.

But, alas, I’m sorry to say that TMZ has investigated the too good to be true karmic justice and they’re reporting that Paris is still in Papa’s good graces and, until Grampa Hilton comes to his senses, will inherit somewhere around $30 million.

Any chance that having her financial future secure will keep Paris from doing anymore acting…or singing…or speaking in general?

Photos courtesy of Flynet

The Simple Life is No More

It’s a good thing Paris Hilton still has her Grampa’s money to fall back on, because at least one of her pseudo-careers is over. E! is reporting that the Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton fake reality show The Simple Life won’t be coming back for another season. Someone shout Hallelujah!

From E!:

“The Simple Life has been a wonderful addition to the E! Schedule for two years and we will always be grateful to Paris and Nicole for their hard work and graciousness.”

Wait, someone double check this for me. I thought we were talking about The Simple Life, but “hard work and graciousness” just doesn’t sounds like Paris and Nicole. Maybe there was some Amish show on E! that I missed.

Lindsay Lohan’s Movie Gets Panned

Lindsay Lohan’s new movie has gotten plenty of press over the past few months. Between the leaked video and pics of Lindsay stripping and the tons of ink Lindsay gets thanks to her own general stupidity, the flick I Know Who Killed Me has been all over the blogosphere. But apparently free publicity doesn’t help much if the movie sucks. And according to reviewers, this movie sucks like a 10 year old with a Slurpee.

RottenTomatoes.com has compilied some of the reviews (Lindsay, honey, you might want to skip to the next post):

“No review could really do justice to the monumental trashiness of this mess; it really has to be seen to be believed,” Elizabeth Weitzman of the Daily News.

“I Know…” is “[A] sleazy, inept and worthless piece of torture porn.” Lou Lumenick of the New York Post

“Who could’ve predicted a bust for alleged cocaine possession, vocational self-destruction, and a general display of young Hollywood stupidity would be the career highlight of Lohan’s weekend,” wrote EFilmCritic.com writer Brian Orndorf.

Damn! If Lindsay wasn’t already off the wagon and swimming in booze, this probably would have made her put on a lime flavored bikini and jump right into a wading pool filled with Tequila.

Lindsay Lohan’s Hostages May Sue

So Lindsay Lohan may be a total trainwreck, but at least things can’t get any worse right? Ha! Wrong. The three guys who claim to have been in the car with Lindsay when she took off on her allegedly drunken high speed chase are looking to sue the “let’s hope she’s finally hit rock bottom” celeb.

From The Insider:

LINDSAY LOHAN is facing a potential lawsuit from DANTE NIGRO, JAKON SUTTER and RONNIE BLAKE — the three men who say they were passengers riding with her on the morning of her arrest. A rep for the men says if an agreement can’t be reached amicably they will present her attorney with a civil complaint.

In a news conference Friday morning, the trio’s lawyer said that they were there firsthand to experience Lindsay’s relapse, and “they never, ever expected to be in a car with her. It was a surprise to them.”
Although no lawsuit has been filed yet against Lohan, the trio are making claims that their “vehicle was taken without their permission and they were unable to remove themselves while traveling, [and they were] endangered in that way,” making it “false imprisonment.” They are also claiming, amongst other things, emotional distress and negligence.

You know, if I were ever kidnapped by a drunk celebrity, I would be punching my calculator and calling my lawyer the whole time we were breaking traffic laws. Stole my car? That’s a million. Made me pee my pants when you jumped the curb? That’s another million. Getting hijacked by Lindsay Lohan is probably the best career move these guys have ever made.

Britney Spears Has Another Meltdown

Britney Spears is reportedly still on he fast track to a straight jacket. The stale pop tart reportedly has another public breakdown. Just last week Brit allegedly went loco on the set of her photo shoot with OK! Magazine. Now we’re getting word that Britney lost it while filming the mucis video for her new single Get Back.

From TMZ:

Sources told the Daily News that she seemed “disoriented” and “erratic” during the shoot for her new single “Get Back.”

The tawdry trainwreck seemed “wobbly,” said one source, and had to keep stopping for frequent bathroom breaks. “You could see she was getting a bit wobbly, but no one expected her to throw a complete fit. Suddenly, she was in floods of tears and stormed off set. She eventually came back but was sobbing hysterically.”

The shoot, and Spears, had to be called off early.

Seriously, don’t they make little pink or purple pills for this kind of crazy?

Lindsay Lohan’s Movie Gets Panned

Lindsay Lohan’s new movie has gotten plenty of press over the past few months. Between the leaked video and pics of Lindsay stripping and the tons of ink Lindsay gets thanks to her own general stupidity, the flick I Know Who Killed Me has been all over the blogosphere. But apparently free publicity doesn’t help much if the movie sucks. And according to reviewers, this movie sucks like a 10 year old with a Slurpee.

RottenTomatoes.com has compilied some of the reviews (Lindsay, honey, you might want to skip to the next post):

“No review could really do justice to the monumental trashiness of this mess; it really has to be seen to be believed,” Elizabeth Weitzman of the Daily News.

“I Know…” is “[A] sleazy, inept and worthless piece of torture porn.” Lou Lumenick of the New York Post

“Who could’ve predicted a bust for alleged cocaine possession, vocational self-destruction, and a general display of young Hollywood stupidity would be the career highlight of Lohan’s weekend,” wrote EFilmCritic.com writer Brian Orndorf.

Damn! If Lindsay wasn’t already off the wagon and swimming in booze, this probably would have made her put on a lime flavored bikini and jump right into a wading pool filled with Tequila.

Lindsay Lohan’s Hostages May Sue

So Lindsay Lohan may be a total trainwreck, but at least things can’t get any worse right? Ha! Wrong. The three guys who claim to have been in the car with Lindsay when she took off on her allegedly drunken high speed chase are looking to sue the “let’s hope she’s finally hit rock bottom” celeb.

From The Insider:

LINDSAY LOHAN is facing a potential lawsuit from DANTE NIGRO, JAKON SUTTER and RONNIE BLAKE — the three men who say they were passengers riding with her on the morning of her arrest. A rep for the men says if an agreement can’t be reached amicably they will present her attorney with a civil complaint.

In a news conference Friday morning, the trio’s lawyer said that they were there firsthand to experience Lindsay’s relapse, and “they never, ever expected to be in a car with her. It was a surprise to them.”
Although no lawsuit has been filed yet against Lohan, the trio are making claims that their “vehicle was taken without their permission and they were unable to remove themselves while traveling, [and they were] endangered in that way,” making it “false imprisonment.” They are also claiming, amongst other things, emotional distress and negligence.

You know, if I were ever kidnapped by a drunk celebrity, I would be punching my calculator and calling my lawyer the whole time we were breaking traffic laws. Stole my car? That’s a million. Made me pee my pants when you jumped the curb? That’s another million. Getting hijacked by Lindsay Lohan is probably the best career move these guys have ever made.

Kelly Clarkson Makes Nice With Clive Davis

Looks like there’s a winner in the Kelly Clarkson vs. Clive Davis bitch fight. And the trophy goes to the old white guy with all the power. Despite all of Miss Independant’s public bravado, the original American Idol is back tracking on her “serious artist” stance and is ready to play ball wth her boss.

Kelly has publicly apologized to Clive for her part in their very public spat over her latest album My December (like when she called him old and out of touch) and has agreed to make a new pop album. This time Kelly won’t be writing her own songs, but will record songs picked out by Clive himself. So Kelly, how does that humble pie taste?

I bet right now Clive is paying a whole pack of songwriters to create songs with titles like “MY Boss is So Smart”, “He’s Right and I’m Wrong” and “Eighty is Sexy.”

Photos courtesy of WENN

The Beckhams Meet an American Queen

So Victoria Beckham and her hubby David were out shopping…well, Posh was shopping, David was probably following three feet behind and trying not to get his fingers bitten if he put his hand between Posh and anything with a designer label.

And in hilarious Hollywood style, the Beckhams bumped into Queen Latifah on their outing. And that just makes me cock my head to the side and go “now that must have been a fun conversation.” Of course that’s assuming that the two girls could get close enough to hear each other…face it, there’s a whole lot of boobage between them.