Jessica Simpson Still Can’t Act

Jessica Simpson’s new movie Blonde Ambition is reportedly so bad, that it’s going straight to DVD. Not that I was expecting much, but it must be even worse than I imagined. And imagined something pretty darn awful.

From Us:

It is going straight to DVD domestically. It will only come out in theaters internationally,” an insider tells Us Weekly. What’s the problem with the romantic comedy, costarring Luke Wilson, 35? “The movie is absolutely horrible,” says a source. “It’s just a bomb, mainly because of Jessica’s acting.”

So Jessica’s acting is so stinky that she can’t even act like a blonde. And forgive me for losing track of her collection of Miss Clairol products, but isn’t that her natural hair color?

Pics below are from the set of the mega-bomb.

Melanie Brown Wants Eddie Murphy to Pay Up

Scary Spice just got a whole lot scarier. Melanie Brown aka Scary Spice has hired harpie lawyer Gloria Allred to help her give Eddie Murhpy a legal smackdown. Mel has always said that Eddie is the father of her baby girl Angel Iris Murphy Brown and now she wants Eddie to pony up the dough.

From TMZ:

Scary Spice is going after Eddie Murphy in court, claiming he isn’t owning up to his responsibility as a dad. Melanie Brown will file a paternity suit against Murphy, according to ubiquitous lawyer Gloria Allred. Allred will hold a news conference — imagine that! — claiming Murphy’s conduct since learning Brown was pregnant was “shocking and appalling.”

It probably doesn’t help that Eddie reportedly just slipped a big fat diamond engagement ring on his new girl’s finger. Nothing says woman scorned like a paternity suit.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Britney Spears Faces Lawsuit

More bad news for Britney Spears. The photographer who got his ass beat by Britney’s bodyguard (allegedly of course) in Las Vegas is geting ready to sue Brit. The photog claims that Brit threatened to kill him and then threw a baby bottle at him. Must have been one big bottle.

From TMZ:

According to the AP, photog Andrew Deetz is preparing to sue Spears, say his lawyers, after the scuffle last Thursday at Las Vegas’ Wynn Hotel. Deetz alleges that after getting attacked by Spears’ bodyguard, Britney herself threatened to kill Deetz and, according to his statement, said he should get a restraining order against her because either she — or someone she “hired” — would kill him.

Spears’ lawyer had no comment last night. Spears’ security man — “J.C.” Camera — could face up to a year in the slammer if convicted of battery.

Now ordinarily, I would totally trash this photographer for trying to make a buck with a waste of everybody’s time lawsuit. But this is Britney we’re talking about. With everything else she’s been doing lately, can you blame the guy for shaking behind his telephoto lens?

Tara Reid Back in a Bikini

Tara Reid is back and she still isn’t listening to me. Didn’t I just tell this girl to stop wearing bikinis until she gets that botched lipo job fixed? I swear no body listens to me. I just told my one night stand to get out, but he’s still here. Now I’ll have to move again.

Anyway, here’s Tara in St. Tropez. Yes I make fun of her, but in all honesty these pics are a whole lot better than that last batch of nightmare inducing skin shots.

People Lining Up to Sue Lindsay Lohan

What’s the worst job in Hollywood? Being one of Lindsay Lohan’s lawyers. Actually, cleaning up after all those celebrity pooches might be the worst job, but representing Lilo has to be a close second…and they both involve shoveling a lot of crap!

Turns out Lindsay is getting sued…again. For bad stuff with cars…again. Get those lawyers shoveling.

From TMZ:

Signe Dupuy claims that in April 2007 LiLo and her main man, Jaz, cut her off in their SUV while she was driving on Fairfax Ave. in L.A. Dupuy says when she got out of the car, Lindsay stopped and glared at her, while Jaz was “hostile” and “tried to intimidate” her. She says they gave her a fake name and number (the nerve!) and drove away. Signe tells us this is her last resort, as she has tried to contact Lindsay several times, even sending her rep a letter. Lindsay’s rep told us she did get the letter but “filed it away,” adding “I assumed the letter was sent to [Lindsay’s] lawyers. That’s what they’re paid for.”

I think right now the ony things her team of lawyers are concerned with are 1)keeping Lindsay out of jail and 2) hoping none of their lawyer buddies find out who they work for.

Britney Spears Still Hates Her Mom

Britney Spears isn’t ready to kiss and make up with her mother. In fact, one magazine is reporting that Britney is actually trying to turn her boys against Gramma Lynne. How’s that for good old fashioned family fun time?

From Life and Style:

The mag says that when Sean asks for his grandmother, his mama tells him, “She’s a bad lady,” even though they “can’t understand what’s going on.” What’s more, an “insider” cited by L&S says that when the going gets tough with the boys, Brit hands them off. “When she needs a break, she gives her boys to the nearest person — even shopgirls at clothing stores!” says the insider.

So Brit would rather toss her kids at the 18 year old Gap sales girl than let her mom take them for ice cream. How long before she just tells them that Gramma is dead?

Ok, I’m officially over Britney Spears. It’s one thing to totally screw up your own life and wind up crazy, but those little cutie pies still have a chance. Britney could release them into the wild to be raised by fire ants and they’d be better off.

Tara Reid Back in a Bikini

Tara Reid is back and she still isn’t listening to me. Didn’t I just tell this girl to stop wearing bikinis until she gets that botched lipo job fixed? I swear no body listens to me. I just told my one night stand to get out, but he’s still here. Now I’ll have to move again.

Anyway, here’s Tara in St. Tropez. Yes I make fun of her, but in all honesty these pics are a whole lot better than that last batch of nightmare inducing skin shots.

Britney Spears Faces Lawsuit

More bad news for Britney Spears. The photographer who got his ass beat by Britney’s bodyguard (allegedly of course) in Las Vegas is geting ready to sue Brit. The photog claims that Brit threatened to kill him and then threw a baby bottle at him. Must have been one big bottle.

From TMZ:

According to the AP, photog Andrew Deetz is preparing to sue Spears, say his lawyers, after the scuffle last Thursday at Las Vegas’ Wynn Hotel. Deetz alleges that after getting attacked by Spears’ bodyguard, Britney herself threatened to kill Deetz and, according to his statement, said he should get a restraining order against her because either she — or someone she “hired” — would kill him.

Spears’ lawyer had no comment last night. Spears’ security man — “J.C.” Camera — could face up to a year in the slammer if convicted of battery.

Now ordinarily, I would totally trash this photographer for trying to make a buck with a waste of everybody’s time lawsuit. But this is Britney we’re talking about. With everything else she’s been doing lately, can you blame the guy for shaking behind his telephoto lens?

People Lining Up to Sue Lindsay Lohan

What’s the worst job in Hollywood? Being one of Lindsay Lohan’s lawyers. Actually, cleaning up after all those celebrity pooches might be the worst job, but representing Lilo has to be a close second…and they both involve shoveling a lot of crap!

Turns out Lindsay is getting sued…again. For bad stuff with cars…again. Get those lawyers shoveling.

From TMZ:

Signe Dupuy claims that in April 2007 LiLo and her main man, Jaz, cut her off in their SUV while she was driving on Fairfax Ave. in L.A. Dupuy says when she got out of the car, Lindsay stopped and glared at her, while Jaz was “hostile” and “tried to intimidate” her. She says they gave her a fake name and number (the nerve!) and drove away. Signe tells us this is her last resort, as she has tried to contact Lindsay several times, even sending her rep a letter. Lindsay’s rep told us she did get the letter but “filed it away,” adding “I assumed the letter was sent to [Lindsay’s] lawyers. That’s what they’re paid for.”

I think right now the ony things her team of lawyers are concerned with are 1)keeping Lindsay out of jail and 2) hoping none of their lawyer buddies find out who they work for.