Hilary Duff Grows Boobs

Wow, Hilary Duff looks…incredibly well endowed. Where did those giant jigglies come from? Either Hil got very round and very perky implants, or there’s a midget hiding in her dress pushing her boobs up. Personally, I’m hoping for the midget theory.

Oh and kudos to Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter Miley for keeping their eyes off the overflowing cleavage getting pushed up and out in the middle of the Cyrus sandwhich.

Tom Cruise is Worried About Aliens

No idea if this story is true or not, but since its about Tom Cruise and space aliens I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt. Rumor has it that Tom wants to build an underground bunker to protect him and his family from an alien invasion.

From The Daily Mail:

“Tom is planning to build a US$10 million bunker under his Telluride estate.” “It’s a self-contained underground shelter with a high tech air purifying shelter.” The facility is said to have enough room for ten people – including wife Katie Holmes, 17-month-old daughter Suri and his adopted children Isabella, 14, and Connor, 12.

I’m so confused. I thought the Scientologists liked aliens. Actually I thought the Scientologists were aliens.

Old pics of the Scientolo-fam.

Mariah Carey Needs Privacy When She Pees

Oh, the Mariah Carey stories just keep getting better and better. You thought the designated breast tape girl and the entourage of hairbrush holders was bad. Here’s one more glimpse into the diva-licious world that is Mariah Carey.

From The New York Daily News:

Mariah Carey, drinking deeply at VH1’s Music Cares event, invaded the ladies’ room with two burly bodyguards. Two women already there say her security tried to evict them, but they refused to leave. Says one: “One of the bodyguards said to us, ‘If you’re going to stay, you better not watch Mariah pee.’”

Now that’s just classic. Big, bad, roid rage guy says with a straight face (and a hand on his gun no doubt) “don’t watch Mariah pee.” Cause apparently he thinks that Ms. Mariah is so famous that everybody wants to watch her do the squat and hover.

Heid Montag Doesn’t Realize Baywatch Was Cancelled

I have never before posted pics or stories about Heidi Montag of The Hills fame. Why? Becuse she annoys me. Everything about her makes me want to reach into my monitor and slap her until her veneers fall off.

But I have given in to Heidi’s relentless publicity train simply because these pictures validate everything I have ever thought about the nitwit. Here’s Heidi running on the beach with one of those floaty things thinking that she’s just so sexy. Irritating bimbo.

So enjoy these pics while you can cause unless Heidi does something even stupider than this wannabe Baywatch thing, I won’t be putting up anymore. Or if people leave lots of comments begging me for more pics of her and tell me how beautiful and hot and witty I am. Then maybe. Or if you throw in some jewlery…then definitely.

Lindsay Lohan May Be Ready to Leave Rehab

Looks like there’s some debate about how much longer Lindsay Lohan is going to stay in sobriety hiding at the Cirque Lodge in Utah. The tabs are hinting that Linds may be ready to make a break for freedom, but her mom Dina is saying that Lindsay will be staying in the booze pokey.

From The New York Daily News:

A pal tells the Daily News the tamed wild child could be out as early as this weekend but her mom, Dina Lohan, is trying to put the kibosh on that rumor. “Access Hollywood” is reporting that show host and Dina Lohan pal Billy Bush e-mailed her asking if LiLo is indeed getting out of the Cirque Lodge rehab center in Sundance, Utah. Mama Lohan replied: “Not true, staying in Utah.”

I have to say, I’m fairly impressed that Lindsay has lasted in rehab this long. Dare I say that there may be hope for the mega-disaster otherwise known as Lindsay Lohan?

Britney Forgets Her Girlie Things

Oh this is lovely. You’ve seen these pictures of Britney Spears stopping at a Quiznos to use the little girls room and being followed by paparazzi. Well, the rumor is that during this flashbulb fiesta, Brit-Brit asked one of the photogs to join her in the bathroom where she supposedly tried to bum a tampon. I know…ewwww.

Photos courtesy of Flynet

Kristin Bell Works in a Bikini

Summer may be ending but it takes more than a little chilly weather stop Hollywood hotties from rocking their bikinis. Check out Heroes star Kristin Bell shooting a scene in her two piece. Now there’s a job…sit around in a bikini drinking a margarita. Dude, that should be me. I totally majored in margaritas in college.

Pamela Anderson Gets Wild

Apparently since Pamela Anderson has hooked up with the sleezy Rick Salomon, the former Baywatch babe has gone into party overdrive and her wild ways are starting to worry some of her friends.

Here’s what the concerned buds told Page Six:

“She parties almost every night.”

“She drinks, she does stuff . . . and she’s got hepatitis C. Her liver is shot but she keeps living this crazy lifestyle. We don’t think she understands how serious this is. She has two kids and may not be around to see them grow up at this rate.”

You know, I totally forgot that Pammie has kids. She certainly hides the kids better than she hides her boobs.

Anyway, I’m sure we’ll all see exactly what Pam has been up to when Salomon releases the sex tape. Oh come on, you know he’s already made one…or two…or five.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Natalie Portman Does a Nude Scene

Personally, I don’t get all the hullabaloo about Natalie Portman. Sure she’s pretty enough, but every man with a penis that likes girls is all hot and bothered over Natalie’s newest short film Hotel Chevalier because Nat flashes her naked bottom and a little side boob.

Is it because she seems so aloof and untouchable? Is it some unshakable Star Wars fantasy like Princess Leia in the gold bikini? I mean here’s Natalie in some truly artistic work of movie magic and the only thing guys will be thinking is “Dude, that’s Luke Skywalker’s mom’s ass.”

Britney Spears Has a Potty Emergency

So Britney Spears really had to go and ended up leading a paparazzi parade through a local Quiznos. Mmmm…toasty.

From TMZ:

Looking dazed as she exited the bathroom — wearing boots (hooray for shoes, ya’ll!) — Spears was met by a flurry of photogs who tore the sub shop apart, pushing tables and chairs around to get a good shot of Brit.

Escorted through the madness by holding the hand of a photographer, an ever-observant Britney was heard saying, “You’re filming me as we walk.” She then hopped into her car, where her kids were sleeping in the back seat, and took off.

What is Brit’s attraction to public bathrooms? Does she have bladder issues? Seriously, I’ve seen old, rickety dogs who can hold it longer than Britney.

Photos courtesy of Flynet