Teri Seymore in a bikini, dating Simon Cowell apparently causes anguish.

I mean, what else would explain this skinny catastrophe, otherwise known as Simon’s fiancé British TV personality Teri Seymour? She needs to stop by the mini-mart on her way home and score some nachos. If she doesn’t look out, she is going to start looking worse than Paula. These pics are coming from a vacation the couple took in Barbados. Good thing Simon doesn’t judge Bikini Idol, because this mess would be asked to leave.

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Nicole Kidman NOT pregnant.

According to her, which seems a pretty solid source, she isn’t packing a sex trophy.

news.com.au says, “She’s in Australia making a film and her family are in Australia. She’s happily ensconced away somewhere having a few days break. It’s the silly season. As far as we’re concerned, it’s another rumour out of London.”

Good to hear, I am growing tired of posting preggo stories and DUI debacles, celebs need to find something else to do. I really think we need another good ole fashioned car chase. Something super spectacular and fun to watch, something that has danger and intrigue.

On another note, how much hotter is Nicole without Cruisentology at her side? He ruins women, look at Katie Holmes now.

Although this picture of Nicole has her looking as though she really needs a tan. She sort of has a gothic look right now, but its still better than being in photos with Tom Cruise.

Fergie Ferg to marry Vegas star.

Josh Duhamel is one lucky man, or unlucky, I can’t get a good read on this. Josh proposed to Fergie around Christmas time, and she said hellz yes. I really don’t get why a guy like him would confining himself to the same piece of tail for the rest of his life, or at least force himself into sneaking around. He has a successful show, chicks dig him, I mean come on? Ferg is going to age fast, there is a lot of former meth use in her past, just the way things are.

I would keep the young starlets rotation alive and kicking if I were Josh. But hey, whatever makes him happy. Honestly, I don’t ever have issues like this.

Lily Allen shopping at Harrods

The worlds largest department store was treated to a Lily Allen shopping spree during their big winter sale. Even celebs look for deals! And apparently stuffed bears. Lily is 22, pregnant, and apparently really bored. She is just weird looking to me, almost like a mix between Katie Holmes and Amy Winehouse on drugs (which is Amy Winehouse like all the time).

Lily’s publicist confirmed her un-wed pregnancy last week with her boyfriend Ed Simons of The Chemical Brothers.

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Hannah Montana shops at Victoria’s Secret

Her real name is Miley Cyrus and she is only 15, so why is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus out getting hooked up with lingerie? Have we learned nothing from the Jamie Lynn Spears debacle?

Kids these days are really growing up fast! Sounds like Billy Ray read the Lynn Spears instructional book on parenting. A how-to-guide to completely messing up your kids life. A DUI is in Miley’s future for sure…
Now I can’t get that silly, “Achey Breaky heart” song out of my head.

Day ruined.

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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt do some shopping.

The Brangelina shopping duo hit up the streets of New Orleans, apparently buying the kids some clothes. Brad Pitt is just weird now if you ask my opinion. He used to be super cool, I am not really sure what happened to him. I saw him do an interview a few weeks back and he talking about being old and sad.

Man up Brad, you have a hit chick and a lot of money. Life could honestly be worse.

Celebs need to stop crying, they are better than the rest of us and that should be good enough. We shouldn’t have to hear them whine.

I wonder it Angelina bought her dad a gift for Christmas?

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Kobe Bryant and daughter go check out an ice show.

Kobe took his daughter Gianna out to see Disney on Ice out in Anaheim. I wonder what poor kid had to sit behind Kobe? I am actually surprised that Kobe didn’t just have them move the ice to his living room for a private viewing.

Kobe is rich. I mean really rich. Really rich people do things like that, just because they can.

Oh ya, the Lakers are good again and Kobe is back in the good graces of LA after demanding a trade in the off-season.

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Nicolette Sheridan, the nipple slips out while frolicking

The Nicolette Sheridan beach frolicking marathon continues and the pictures just keep rolling in. At least this time we have something to ooh and aww about. Her nipple, which I might add looks pretty good. If she could only stop making those weird faces while frolicking about the beach I might be able to stand the chick.

If she makes these kinds of faces while hitting warm Caribbean waters, imagine what her face looks like while I am making love to her. Sweet love. And yes, I said imagine me, not you, because I am probably better than you at pleasing milfs. I have a ton of experience.

Seeing that Nicolette is in the Caribbean are of St. Barts, it would be safe to assume that she has a very low tolerance for cold. Look at the pictures and decide for yourselves…

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Michael Lohan offers family advice.

Not sure which of the two is worse? Michael Lohan offering family advice or Lynne Spears offering parenting advice?

Extra says, “Stand together,” he insisted. “Stand by each other and don’t let anyone come between you.”

How about a combination of the two? I mean, this is basic science here. If you combine two elements that are utterly pathetic, then they become normal as they cancel each other out.

This is just too damn funny. How can either of these idiots be giving advice in public. What a mess Hollywood is. Next week, we hope to hear from OJ regarding how to make a relationship work.

I really think we have heard enough of these two idiots.

Just kidding, we need them for blogs like this to be possible.

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Mischa Barton mugshot

The shot we have all been waiting on finally hit the interweb, and just before the New Year…just think, this picture will be sooo last year in two days.

For those of you living in a cave or watching the Discovery Channel too much, Mischa likes to throw down a few vicodins, wash it down with some red wine and then hit the open roads of West Hollywood. Ok, I am guessing what the narcotic and booze of choice are, but that is my job, to spread rumors. But I am willing to bet I am right. Vicodin is the new trendy thing to do in Hollywood. It is the new cocaine of the 80s.

I do have to say, this is one of the better mugshots I can recall in some time. You have to be really hot to pull these off. I think only Nicole Ritchie can challenge her for the sexy mugshot category.

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