Britney Spears comes home from Europe.

Even though Germans manage to date chicks that typically have mustaches and drink a lot of beer, they still don’t want Britney Spears hanging out. So she’s coming home, which comes shortly after her disastrous performance on Britain’s X Factor and The Bambi Awards. Terrific. Now that she is back, the paparazzi can come back from vacation. I wonder how many photographers burned up all their sick days on this deal? Anyways, Britney is back. Her new single and video is out. Go check it out.

Or not.

More Britney Spears pictures.

Miranda Kerr is still single, People Magazine says.

The rumor that Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom are getting married is apparently one big elaborate hoax. Thank God for this, I was beginning to lose hope. Yes, hope for me, jerk….I get hot chicks also, although mostly on the Internet or in Second Life. I pull tons of chicks in Second Life. Ok, I should stop now. Anyways, check out what People Magazine had to say about this wonderful news!

A rep for Bloom’s girlfriend Miranda Kerr is knocking down a report in the Australian media Sunday that the Pirates of the Caribbean star and the model are engaged.
“The story … is completely false and misleading,” the rep says. “Miranda herself has clearly stated she is not engaged. There is nothing else to be said.”
But while they’re not making marriage plans at present, Bloom, 31, and Kerr, 25, are still very much a couple, and Kerry recently spoke about someday settling down with a special someone and having kids.

Britney, Britney, and more Britney Spears.

I know. The last post was about Britney Spears. Well, so is this one. What can I say? She’s hot topics right now. This is from London. She held her birthday at a place that would apparently give free drinks to patrons that chanted her name and apparently cheer for her. Must have been one heck of a tab.

Nicole Ritchie: baby got back!

If Paris Hilton isn’t jealous of her former BFF Nicole RItchie parading around town as mother of the year (which she most likely isn’t), well then she could and should be jealous of Nicole Ritchie’s brand new caboose. Equipped with a lot of sexy round curves. That’s right, Nicole Ritchie, the former profesional non-eater, is now banging in the buttocks region. You go girl.

Paris, might be time for you to get knocked up. Although, no one should trust you with a baby so just have it and then give it away to the Spears family.

More pictures of Nicole Ritchie’s bottom.

Alex Rodriquez shows off former family to paparazzi.

Just a day after taking heat that Alex Rodriguez was ditching his kids on Thanksgiving to hang out with Madonna, these fun-loving pictures surfaced countering any such claim. Of course, they appear as staged as Heidi Montags entire life. Nevertheless, apparently he left the family at 4pm and went over to Madonna’s place to meet her and Gwyneth, whom he is trying to homewreck also.

The third baseman hopped into his black Porsche around 4p.m. and sped off to Star Island – where Madonna has a home.
Sources say he is staying there while he’s in town, and witnesses saw his car parked there overnight.
Later, the kabbalah cronies celebrated at the estate of Jeff Soffer, the bachelor billionaire who reportedly has come between Gwyneth Paltrow and rocker hubby Chris Martin.
Feeding speculation that Paltrow and Martin are ready to split, Paltrow has been staying at Soffer’s Indian Creek Island mansion and spent Thanksgiving with him, sources said.
“Gwyneth has confided to friends she and Chris are taking a break,” a source claimed. “Jeff is crazy about her.”

Pink releases her new video, gets funky with herself.

Pink doesn’t want to be the girl at 4am you call, but she does want to make out with herself in her latest video, Sober. Or whatever it is that’s going on here. She performed this on the AMA’s also, if you happened to catch that. Ironically, Scott Weiland, formerly of the Stone Temple Pilots, introduced someone right before Pink performed and he obviously wasn’t sober. Rock on, I guess. Here are some picture of Pink, who is also throwing a big New Year’s Eve party in Vegas at her ex-boyfriends bar, Wasted Space. The video is below also, check it out.

Winona Ryder, still baked, still lifting things that aren’t hers.

Winona Ryder is just bizarre anymore, if you ask me. And since you are reading, you did ask me. Anyways, last week she took too many Xanax on a flight and collapsed. This week, she merely lost $125 of Bulgari jewelry. I guess they let her borrow it. If history teaches us one thing about Winona, she doesn’t really know the definition of the term borrow.

Sticky-fingered actress Winona Ryder mysteriously lost a diamond-encrusted bracelet and ring worth more than $125,000, according to a published report.
Ryder told Bulgari jewelers that she misplaced their gems, which had been out on loan, after wearing them at a Marie Claire bash in Madrid on Sunday, according to the French celebrity-news magazine Voici.
The “Girl, Interrupted” star – convicted in 2002 of shoplifting in Beverly Hills – claimed she lost the precious stones after handing them in an envelope to her hotel’s front desk for safe keeping.
But Voici reported no hotel surveillance cameras captured Ryder giving the jewels to front-desk personnel.
Bulgari has asked police in Madrid to investigate, according to Voici.
A representative for the actress did not return phone and e-mail messages seeking comment last night.
A US-based spokeswoman for the famed Italian jeweler confirmed that the company had loaned gems to Marie Claire magazine for event organizers to then lend to celebrity partygoers.
The Bulgari representative declined to discuss Ryder or say whether any jewels were missing.

Anyone spending Christmas morning at the Ryder residence should warn the kids to padlock the stockings this year. Things may get borrowed

Imogen Bailey poses for Maxim in UK.

I know, you are probably asking, who the heck is Imogen Bailey? The answer: Why do you care? She’s hot. And she’s exposed in this month’s Maxim UK. And it’s Friday. So this post rules. But if you must know, she is a soap star over there. See, now that you know, still doesn’t matter, does it? I tried to tell you that. Anyways, check out more of Imogen Bailey in Maxim this month. Or fly to London and watch her on her soap. Whichever you find to be easier.

Natalie Portman likes to “do it.”

Natalie Portman turned down the play, Doubt, and playwright Patrick Shanley says its because she doesn’t really get celebacy. And that my friends, is awesome.

“I’m trying to think of what the etiquette is on this,” Shanley chuckled, blushing a bit. Urged on by a blogger for gossipsauce.com, he continued, “Well, we asked Natalie Portman, and Natalie was very interested but kept saying she had a problem. And we finally nailed down as to what the problem was. She basically said she didn’t understand celibacy.”

I wish my prom date in High School would have been similarly confused. More pictures of Natalie Portman chatting it up on her cell phone, probably about having sex.