I want Russell Simmons to adopt me.

Russell Simmons has a butt load of cash. And I mean like Kim Kardashian’s butt size of cash. Check out what homeboy is “giving” his daughters.

I am reading these stories today about how a judge ordered me to pay Kimora $40,000 a month in child support and I want to make something very clear. Nothing was ordered, it was given. My kids have a fabulous life; they are exposed to a broad range of artistic and scholastic educational programs and I’m very happy to contribute to that. As long as I have it, they can have it. If I ever don’t have it, I’m coming to live with them!

Umm, yeah, time for me to find a new family. These kids are certainly going to turn out to be model citizens. Can you imagine them teaching their own kids someday about hard work? You’d think they’d have to at least do some dishes or something? By the way, I will take all the old cars in the family.

Rihanna and Chris Brown, together and in love, again.

After only a few weeks, People is now reporting what most sane people knew was going to happen. Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together again.

“They’re together again. They care for each other,” says the source. The on-again couple are currently spending time together at one of Sean “Diddy” Combs’s homes, on Miami Beach’s Star Island.
Adds the source: “While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened, he is really happy to be with the woman he loves.”

Ah, to be so young and so in love. Boy, The Tyra Banks show sure will have a field day over this.

Carmen Electra still can pull off trashy.

Carmen Electra can still pull off the trashy look, although according to Hollywood’s fashion bible, one is never too old to pull off trashy. These pictures are from an event at the Roxy in LA hosted by Carmen. The dude with the fingeroll stash is really the winning detail to all things trashy. Carmen’s body still rocks the house, if you ask me. Yumm. Check out more of her pictures below.

Kim Kardashian shooting for her 2010 calendar.

Not only does Kim Kardashian bring us the best TV has to offer with her Keeping Up With The Kardashians, now she brings us the day of the week. These are pictures of Kim shooting for her 2010 calendar, I assume these pictures will be the summer ones. I don’t know though, tough call. Anyways, I have an iPhone calendar, so I will pass on this and just download her fabulous booty and bikini pictures from around the internet like everyone else does. But hey, if you need something to hang in that auto repair garage to cover up a hole, well, here you go. Below are a few more Kim Kardashian bikini pictures. Enjoy and happy Friday!

Octo-mom offered Vivid contract.

You know that lady that took birth-roids and shot out like 8 rugrats? Well now Vivid wants her to be in an adult film and they are offering her one million in cold hard cash. Call me crazy, but maybe she shouldn’t be having sex anymore. I think that she is so fertile, everyone in the room helping film and direct might actually get preggos…..yuck.

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady get hitched.

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady got married in secret yesterday. It took place at St. Monica church in Santa Monica. This all according to US magazine.

The ceremony — which began at dusk — was “very small and intimate,” a source tells Us, adding that guests mostly consisted of immediate family. Brady’s son with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan, John Edward Thomas Moynahan, was also present.
(Fitting, as Bundchen once described her ideal wedding as “a simple ceremony…I don’t like parties, I prefer something more intimate, just for the closest people.”)

Ok, so long story short: Tom Brady married a supermodel and is now confirmed to be doing it with her. This is soooo much bigger than breaking the record for touchdowns with teammate Randy Moss. All the same, congrats to Tom.

Hugh Jackman and Robert Pattinson, BFFs.

Men who sing together ____ together. You fill in the blank. Apparently Hugh Jackman and Robert Pattinson made bestest of friends at the Oscars and the party carried on over in Japan, where Hugh and Nicole Kidman were having their movie, Australia, launch party. The two boys hit a Tokyo bar and did some karaoke. More from E! News.

I just got word that Pattinson and Jackman engaged in some karaoke crooning together this week at a bar in Tokyo.
The two have been in Japan on business. Pattison touched down on Tuesday to promote Twilight while Jackman and Nicole Kidman attended last night’s premiere of Australia.
Says a source, “They went after doing press for their films.”

Still no word on what the two sang.

Paris Hilton goes to Japan with “Hills” boytoy.

Paris Hilton isn’t even good enough for dating the D-List anymore, as she is seen here hanging out with Amanda Bynes sloppy seconds, Doug Reinhardt. This dude is like, almost on The Hills. That’s pretty bad. She claims she isn’t dating him, but she did head over to Japan with him. I guess over there she is kind of a big deal. Cliche? Yeah, because its not true. Here are some more pictures of the D / E-List couple and all there awesomeness…..

Chris Brown taking anger management classes.

Because, you know, he wanted to take the course, I am sure. More from the NY Daily News.

According to a source, Brown opted for anger management at the behest of his spin doctor, Michael Sitrick. “Chris doesn’t actually have to go by law,” our insider tells us, “but he believes it will make him look better to the public, and he wants to try to get in a few classes before March 5,” his court date.

Um yeah, taking these anger management courses could help, but you know what would help more for the March 5th date? Paying off witnesses. Trust me, this is the way to go. Save yourself now.