I hope that everyone had a delightful Easter. If you happened to have been at a pool in Sidney, Australia, then you potentially had the greatest Easter of them all because super bikini model and wife of Tennis star Andy Roddick, Brooklyn Decker, was out getting a tan in her bikini. The only thing that could possibly be better than this would be Decker totally naked on my bed with chocolate bunnies and cheetohs. Hey, we all have our things, don’t hate.
Brooklyn is pretty much the most iconic swimsuit model we have around today. And its all real folks. My dream of being a cabana boy is really further instigated by these pictures and the lotions you can see beside her. I wouldn’t miss a spot.
Yesterday was Easter, the day that Christ was resurrected. Thankfully this happened because without such, there would be no Courtney Stodden for the world to enjoy. So yes, in a way, Christ brought us the trashiest teen on planet earth. Here are some pictures of how a trashy teen girl celebrated Easter, I didn’t know they sold bimbo bunny ears, but here they are (Hef must be rolling over in the grave he’s to one day fill). You can also see in the pictures that Courtney is fixing a jeep, because she’s handy like that. Don’t feel bad for looking, it is what it is.
Apparently being engaged to Liam Hemsworth has caused Miley Cyrus to go on a pilates tear. Nothing like staying trim. And by trim, I mean literally trim that you can see here in this up skirt picture taken by photographers outside her most recent Pilates soiree. Last week we got to see Miley’s blue bra, now we get to see the bare goods up the skirt. All in the name of pilates and health and joy. I wonder what Liam Hemsworth thinks of all this? Oh wait, I know…he thinks “man I have a trimmed hot 19 year old girlfriend and most everyone else does not.” What an a$%hole. I hate him. I hate him even if it is on Easter. Its like he is putting down the Easter bunny because he doesn’t have a hot young girlfriend. Ok, I’m the Easter bunny. Well not literally, but per the analogy. And now I’m totally too depressed to go hunting for Easter eggs. I hope everyone else enjoys Easter because Liam Hemsworth ruined mine.
Maria Menounos, an Extra correspondent who usually works on set at The Grove in Los Angeles, and is now Dancing With The Stars and this season’s clearly hottest chick, did a little impromptu modeling by wearing a red dress. Yes, the core color used by the devil to lure in its prey and turn them into evil, being worn by an angel of heaven. Wait, maybe that’s the whole thing, maybe Maria is the devil and this is the most conniving and evil plot of all time? More evil than that Arizona sweat lodge that sounded like a great idea a couple of years back. Wait, that idea sounded stupid the entire time but Maria Menounos in a red dress sounds incredible. I don’t know what to do, but I feel like its Easter and I should take a chance seeing its only in my imagination. I wonder if she’s friends with Urkel on DWTS yet? That was sure random. Anyways, hey, Happy Easter everyone, enjoy these sexy red dress pictures of Maria Menounos’s wonderful greek body this morning.
How do I know of such information? Easy now, its because the proof is in the pictures and I have quite a few of them showing Miley walking out of a pilates class with her blue bra hanging out like fat kid playing games in his parent’s basement. I guess its the new loose style for Miley and her boobs.
The great thing in all of this is that the recent barrage of yoga and pilates trips really has Miley in rock hard shape. That’s a plus in my book.
Here are pictures of Desperate Housewife star Eva Longoria walking out of the VH1 studios in Los Angeles, and she’s looking not so desperate at all. In fact she looks umber hot. The Tony Parker divorce seems to have done nothing but propel Eva into a new level of hotness, which is pretty amazing considering she was in a pretty far off stratosphere of hotness in the first place. Maybe she should start dating Kobe since he is now available and make the upcoming NBA playoffs even more dramatic. Now that would be drama worth watching.
And no, I have no idea what she was doing at VH1′s studios. But I do know I am doing pop up video right now on myself looking at her pictures. Wow, that was just a pathetic joke by me. Sorry. Here are the pictures.
Well, sorta. I mean, she is a wonderful woman. In the latest Equire piece, Me In My Place, Sara Jean Underwood poses in her panties and sweats. I’m a big fan of sweats. I have always believed that if a chick can look good in sweats it validates her overall and total hotness. She also poses in Wonderwoman panties, which is pretty cool for a freaking Friday! I hope everyone has a great weekend.
So Kim Kardashian really took her marriage with Kris Humphries even more serious than we all first thought. She was banging Kanye West the entire time. I am sure Kanye was like “Kris I know you wanna be married and all but I just gotta do this one thing first.” And that thing was banging Kim. This is a great revelation for Kris who, between ballin’ for the Nets, has been trying adamantly to obtain as much info, text, reality show scripts, what-have-you, to prove that Kim was a freaking liar and made money from the marriage and that she never really wanted his white penis. She wanted black rapper penis. And she was apparently getting it.
via Hollywood Life:
“And I’ll admit, I had fell in love with Kim / Around the time she had fell in love with him / Well that’s cool, baby girl, do your thing / Lucky I ain’t had Jay drop him from the team”.
Kanye’s BFF Jay-Z is a part-owner of the New Jersey Nets, which Kris plays for. What a huge threat!
While we’re sure Kim is humbled that Kanye wrote a song about her, it comes at an inconvenient time: she’s about to be tangled in a legal battle with Kris over their divorce, and this kind of publicity is not good for her. Furthermore, it seems to confirm reports that she was allegedly having an affair with Kanye DURING her marriage.
This is great. Have “Jayzee drop him from the team.” That’s a power move. This is really hard rap. Even I am scared.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is once again playing a prostitute on the new Lifetime show, The Client List. Anyone remember the movie by the same name on Lifetime that she was in? Don’t pretend. We all saw it. Why? Because Jennifer Love Hewitt as a massage therapist / prostitute is incredibly hot. You know that it is.
Jennifer did the Ellen Degeneres show promoting her Client List show, and also expressed wanting to do Adam Levine. You know, Adam Levine from Maroon Five or the X Factor, depending on what kinda person you are.
“I always have my eyes out,” the Client List actress, 33, says in an interview airing Thursday on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. “I just read two days ago that Adam Levine is single again … I’m just saying.”
The Maroon 5 frontman and judge on The Voice is indeed single, having split from his girlfriend of two years, model Anne Vyalitsyna. Now, Hewitt thinks she should probably swoop in.
“Look, we would be cute,” she says, as DeGeneres shows a photo of Levine, 33.
Adam, word of advice, hit this. I know a lot of people like to talk crap on her, but really, her body still rocks enough to make the Lifetime Network sexy. Like, its the Lifetime Network, its terrible.
Jessica Alba is hot. Like not stating the obvious here, just saying, she’s hot and never not hot. She’s got kids. She ages. She eats food. But yet she remains the hottest girl on the damn planet and shows little signs of depreciating. What an investment she is, in Hollywood years, she’s probably got two more good ones in her. Amazing. I need to find this yoga studio asap and place my matt strategically behind hers. Wow, that’s just tacky and creepy. I just made myself sick thinking about how yucky I am. Just kidding, I feel just fine about it. Why don’t you take this crumby Thursday morning and enjoy some Jessica Alba in yoga pants and let your sorrows wash away. Remember, tomorrow is Friday and … you rule.